On the way to the park Amina was back seat driving (from her stroller of course), telling me “don’t go that way.” She wanted a longer and busier route, instead of my calm & quiet route that I preferred.
Instead of getting irritated and saying “no,” or even worse: “no because I said so,” I said “sure, let’s do it.”
The important thing was that we get some outdoor time at the park, not which route we took to get there.
I think it’s critical for me to let my kids experience those decision making moments to promote independence and leadership. After all, we only changed our route because Amina explicitly requested it.
The lesson for her is that when she speaks, I hear her, and what’s more, she has the power to create a different experience for herself, and others around her. In other words, her voice matters.
Pretty big win in her developmental journey if you ask me.
A similar scenario unfolded with a recent Excel corporate training client. I was teaching a 2 hour workshop with over 50 participants at a fairly prestigious brand, and before the workshop began they requested that I use a virtual background that they provided.
Sure, that was a no brainer to comply, and it didn’t cost me anything.
Another request that came in the middle of the workshop was to change the session format, slow down the pace, and spend more time walking through the hands-on exercises.
This request could have easily derailed my plan for the session, but fortunately I have been teaching for over 13 years, and I made the adjustment instantly and seamlessly (if I do say so myself).
At the end of the workshop they said “you knocked it out of the park” and they specifically mentioned how much they appreciated both the virtual background and the adjusted pace of instruction.
Bottom line is that I am still very much in the driver’s seat with my children, and with my clients, and knowing when and how to adjust course, upon request, will create instant and long-lasting wins for all parties involved.